#2

2. I love love love to procrastinate. Back when I was in grade school, I hated having to do homework. So I decided…why do it if you don’t want to, right? Which is why by the end of 2nd grade, I had a closet full of untouched homework. If it wasn’t for the Teacher’s Assistant’s phone call to my mom enquiring about the homework I hadn’t done for a whole year, I probably would’ve gotten away with it. But no, it ended up with me staying up the whole night finishing ALL of the work and worst of all, with my mom right there beside me making sure I didn’t miss one single thing. So I learned my lesson there. But then, as I got older it came back to me. Why have to act and decide on something, when you can just procrastinate? I hate making decisions. Hence, the procrastination. So all of my adult life I have been procrastinating decisions which I am either too afraid to make or just lazy to think about.

Which is why when my boyfriend last night said the exact words of,

“We plan on getting married next year but yet, I don’t see you putting anything into motion.”

Was when I realized, I had procrastinated the only one thing I have been trying so hard to make. No wonder I keep on feeling like as if nothing is going the way and I planned and that everyone/everything was going against me. When in reality, I was the one that kept going against it because I was too scared of  it actually happening. Because when you start to realize that it’s actually not that far from reach, you begin to panic because come one, this is spending the rest of your life with someone; it’s not a trip to Disneyland.

But the conversation I had with him last night was very much an eye opener to me. It’s about time I stopped putting a halt on everything just because I’m scared to face it. Because this time around, it’s not just about my life I’m putting into motion, it’s also about his.

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